If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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