They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
