yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
