when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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