Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
