Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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