Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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