just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
