he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
