I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
