What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
