I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
