time to smoke my breakfast
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
