thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm bleeding and have questions
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
