but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
