I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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