Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize