so that wasnt chicken after all
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
did i walk over a car last night?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
