hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
