The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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