i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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