i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
