he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
