wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
