a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Randomize
