i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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