Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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