It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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