my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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