we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
