well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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