i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
