I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
