Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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