it's not cheating when I paid for it
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
