so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
