Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
