Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
