but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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