i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
