You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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