Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
