he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
