Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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