Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
