btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
