i'm lost and i look like a hooker
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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