It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
sex in a hospital.. check
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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