do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
