I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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