doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
