My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize