I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
