My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
