my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
