Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
