...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I am naked and annoyed.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
