On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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