Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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