the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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